1
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:07,007
Oh, nice. We finally got a chef.
2
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,259
I didn't know what you
liked, so we have OJ with pulp,
3
00:00:09,398 --> 00:00:12,572
without pulp,
and just to be safe, some pulp.
4
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,849
How considerate is Tyler?
5
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,852
He got here first thing this
morning to make us breakfast
6
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:22,356
and adorably overthink
our juice choices.
7
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,816
It was also considerate last night
8
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,527
when he made us dinner
in the same clothes
9
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:28,820
as the night before.
10
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,614
And now he's wearing slipper socks.
11
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,991
He's living here, Becky.
12
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:36,370
Look, we left the door wide open,
13
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,956
and all we did was study, I swear.
14
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:42,501
Oh, way to buckle under pressure, Sully.
15
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,794
Listen, Becky...
16
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,045
No, you listen.
17
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,506
I'm a grown woman, and I pay rent.
18
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,841
Even a poor, middle-aged college student
19
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,426
is entitled to some happiness.
20
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,971
You are so controlling and bitter.
21
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,597
I'm fine with it.
22
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:57,933
Nothing in our history could have
23
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,727
prepared me for that response.
24
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:05,274
Wow, man in uniform cooking for us?
25
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,483
All right.
26
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,194
Ooh, some pulp, hey.
27
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,114
I usually have to mix my own.
28
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:17,869
Don't faint, but Darlene
is okay with Tyler staying over.
29
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:18,996
Hey, I've done it.
30
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,998
We took in David when he was a stray.
31
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,624
But if you want to carry
on the Conner tradition,
32
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,042
you've got to have
a couple of kids with them
33
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,961
and live in abject poverty.
34
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,671
Okay, I'll quit my job and start
35
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,007
working on that poverty thing.
36
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,050
Then I'm just with a guy
wearing slipper socks
37
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,051
and making eggs.
38
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,345
I am not going back to my 30s.
39
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:42,853
Hey, are you ready for an
early 50th birthday present?
40
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:46,064
Oh. Not really.
41
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:49,192
New vitamins for 50-plus.
42
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,653
They are gummies but not so sticky
43
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,447
they'll pull your bridge out.
44
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:58,243
You really shouldn't have,
and I mean it.
45
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,688
Hey, are you okay with your birthday?
46
00:02:00,797 --> 00:02:01,872
Because I've been trying to talk to you
47
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,211
about it the last two weeks,
48
00:02:03,321 --> 00:02:04,958
and you've been shutting me down.
49
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,168
I'm not shutting you down.
50
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,419
You just keep bringing it up, and I just
51
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,171
keep not talking about it.
52
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,048
But we talk about everything.
53
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,258
Why can't you talk about this?
54
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,926
Honestly, I don't know.
55
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,637
I don't feel like it?
56
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,390
Well, the fact that you
don't want to talk about it
57
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,934
lets me know that you
should be talking about it.
58
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,395
Can we please just let it go?
59
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,065
Okay, look, if you don't
want to talk to me,
60
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,608
how about you talk
to one of your guy friends?
61
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:33,403
[scoffs] My guy friends are your dad.
62
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,113
Hey, Tyler's around your age.
63
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,156
Why don't you talk to him?
64
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,117
[scoffs] He's our cook.
65
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,535
Stop resisting.
66
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,830
Go talk to our manservant
about your senior struggles.
67
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:48,251
Oh my God, that sounds awful.
68
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,421
Do I have to?
69
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:54,216
Yes. And take your old man
vitamins so you don't forget what
70
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,884
you're talking to him about.
71
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,681
6x06 - Hanging in Dorms with Boys
and The Secret Life of Men
72
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:04,059
[bluesy rock music]
73
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:08,355
? ?
74
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,909
The Conners is recorded in front
75
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,328
of a live studio audience.
76
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:44,182
So, uh, when you have
to wear that getup,
77
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,935
you feel like it's always Halloween?
78
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:53,275
I suppose it could be a
costume if it wasn't my job.
79
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:03,326
So this is the first
time we've been alone.
80
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:05,871
Yeah.
81
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,581
Yep.
82
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:12,294
Yeah, it is.
83
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,838
So what's going on?
84
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:22,095
Well, my wife thinks
I need a male friend.
85
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,138
That's funny.
86
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,932
My mom says the same thing about me.
87
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,143
It's silly, right?
88
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,103
Yeah. We're grown men.
89
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,442
So how do we do it?
90
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,278
What? Be friends?
91
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,571
Yeah.
92
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,532
I could help you move
some furniture or something.
93
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,913
When I see guys on TV,
sometimes they're bowling.
94
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,208
I'm not a great bowler.
95
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:54,503
I've seen guys on TV
at a bar drinking beers.
96
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,255
We could do that.
97
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,259
But just us?
98
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:02,844
No. No.
99
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,846
No, I would call
Dan and Neville, you know,
100
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,725
just in case we can't keep up
this rapid-fire back and forth
101
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,310
we've been crushing.
102
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,355
Well, okay, it's a date.
103
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,356
It's a guy date.
104
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:15,398
Eh.
105
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:16,608
A man hang.
106
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:17,776
Oh, let's stop naming it.
107
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,028
Got it.
108
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,113
Uh, after you.
109
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,240
Oh, no, that's okay.
110
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,449
I'll give you a minute, you know,
111
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:28,425
so it's not like this
in the other room too.
112
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,622
? ?
113
00:05:31,137 --> 00:05:32,513
Can you believe how hard it is getting
114
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,708
the machine at Mom's house?
115
00:05:33,825 --> 00:05:35,877
And now Tyler's going to be there,
so it's going to be worse.
116
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,963
It could drive a guy to drink.
117
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,214
Drive a guy to drink.
118
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,394
Phrases from the '40s. What do I win?
119
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,761
I was just trying to find a smooth segue
120
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:48,098
into asking you to buy
alcohol for me and my friends?
121
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,307
You don't have a fake ID?
122
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,560
I bought one,
but it's not going to work.
123
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,812
It says I'm Dr. Lester Wong.
124
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,815
Didn't you look at it first?
125
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,234
No, they charge you
an extra 100 bucks to look,
126
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,821
and I'm not making
Dr. Lester Wong kind of money.
127
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,282
Okay, here's the deal.
128
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:07,325
I'll bring a bunch of booze
down to your dorm room,
129
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,660
and when your friends are drunk,
130
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,175
you convince them to let me
give them tattoos while
131
00:06:11,261 --> 00:06:13,415
- I still work at the parlor.
- Fine.
132
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,166
But they're all computer science nerds,
133
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,835
so get ready to write, "I'm saving
134
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,921
myself for Princess Leia"
on a lot of skinny, pale arms.
135
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,133
? ?
136
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,927
[indistinct chatter]
137
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,263
What is going on
with this place tonight?
138
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,264
It's like a zoo in here.
139
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,599
I don't know.
140
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:31,850
I haven't been in here forever,
because I've
141
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,435
been so busy at the clinic.
142
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,021
You offer 5 bucks off
on spaying and neutering,
143
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:39,566
and you are up to your elbows
in tubes and testicles.
144
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,110
Sorry.
145
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,029
Hey, did you find out why
it's so crowded tonight?
146
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,865
I found out why it's so crowded tonight.
147
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,825
It's Help Our Yelp night.
148
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,703
You give the bar a five-star
review, you get a free beer.
149
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,955
The bartender called me an asswipe.
150
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,709
I wrote, "The staff is
attentive and professional."
151
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,962
Well, here's to Ben
for getting us all together.
152
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,548
Oh, well, hey, actually,
you guys should thank Darlene,
153
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,216
because she thinks I need to talk
154
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:09,929
to you guys about something,
but I can't hear a damn thing.
155
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,224
Talk... talk to us about what?
156
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,684
It's kind of personal.
157
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:18,188
Oh, just say it.
We're not going to tell anybody.
158
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,774
Calamari's delicious!
159
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,027
All right, this is ridiculous.
160
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,404
I have my own little
place where I hang out.
161
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,157
I guess we could go there,
but it has to stay a secret.
162
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,742
Tell me where it is.
163
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,453
All my wives said
I'm great at keeping secrets.
164
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:39,417
You never told us you had
a secret spot, you dirty dog.
165
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,377
Where is it?
166
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,671
You'll see.
167
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,589
No, but seriously,
you got to promise not
168
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,174
to tell any of our partners.
169
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,593
Oh, yeah. And hey,
that goes double for you, Tyler.
170
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:49,803
Why me?
171
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,388
Because you're in a new relationship,
172
00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:53,932
so that makes you the weak link.
173
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,934
You think you're in "Love Actually,"
174
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:59,479
but you're only one argument
away from "The Shining."
175
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,360
All right, losers, I got the
magic stuff that'll make you
176
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,904
feel better about yourselves.
177
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,489
Thank you so much.
178
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,075
I'll see you this weekend
back at the house?
179
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,284
Cool.
180
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,787
Wait, what are we supposed
to mix the margaritas in?
181
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:19,541
Aren't you all, like,
future scientists of America?
182
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,875
Actually, we're not scientists...
183
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,294
Stop, I'm so bored.
184
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,963
You just mix it in your mouth.
185
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,756
It's called an upside-down margarita.
186
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,258
How do we do that?
187
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,261
Do we have to take our Invisaligns out?
188
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,887
Just lay down on the bed.
189
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,140
I'm sorry.
190
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,850
I promise,
after you do this, you can go.
191
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,309
It's okay.
192
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,061
I've never been in
a college dorm before.
193
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,064
It'll be fun observing you
and all your friends wasted
194
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,441
in your natural habitat.
195
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:51,865
All right, now get up,
shake your head, and swallow.
196
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:57,162
That felt amazing.
197
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,913
I'm so drunk.
198
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,790
All right. Everybody line up.
199
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,710
Actually, I think
we can take over from here.
200
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,044
Come on.
201
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:08,047
Let your hot sister stay, Dr. Wong.
202
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:11,009
I would, but she has
a restaurant to run.
203
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,927
Those patty melts don't melt themselves.
204
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,846
Relax, dude. It's fine.
205
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:18,266
All right, now, everybody,
tilt your head back.
206
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,976
It's time to water the nerd crops.
207
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:26,608
Okay, never have I ever, um,
208
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,611
denied that I was related
to this family.
209
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,071
Hmm.
210
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,283
Becky, this isn't fair.
211
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,493
You're not even getting drunk.
212
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:37,535
No.
213
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:41,539
I'm just burning
a sober hole in my esophagus.
214
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:42,957
Okay.
215
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,836
Never have I ever
worn Louise's shoes to make
216
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,755
fun of the way she dances.
217
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,384
I thought I was alone.
218
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,554
[laughs] Why did we have to wait
219
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,348
for the guys to have
guys' night before we
220
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,183
started having girls' night?
221
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,519
I don't know, but the last
two weeks have been so great.
222
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,687
Ben's been coming home way more relaxed,
223
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,022
which is so good for him.
224
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,482
And then I get to throw it in his face
225
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,359
that I was right,
which is so good for me.
226
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:12,695
Okay. So when we're done with this,
why don't we surprise the guys
227
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:15,073
- and go down to the Lobo?
- Mm.
228
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,325
Hey, what about girls' night?
229
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,745
Never have I ever
enjoyed a girls' night.
230
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,372
This is odd.
231
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:25,917
I just got a text from Ben
saying that they're bowling.
232
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,836
But aren't they supposed
to be at the Lobo?
233
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,921
Becky, didn't Tyler send
you a picture earlier?
234
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,298
Yeah, he did.
235
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,301
Doesn't look like the Lobo.
236
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,886
Well, maybe it's the bathroom?
237
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,388
Well, maybe they took the picture
238
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,474
like that because they're
trying to hide where they are.
239
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,642
Oh.
240
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,770
Well, it just got interesting,
because Ben turned off
241
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,564
his location sharing.
242
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,482
Neville did too.
243
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:50,859
So did Tyler.
244
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:54,904
So men hiding their
location from their partners?
245
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,073
They're at a strip club.
246
00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:00,702
Tyler is not a strip club guy.
247
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,745
He lives with his mom.
248
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,205
He's always on the road.
249
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,500
Oh my God, he is a strip club guy.
250
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:11,045
You guys do what you want,
but I am going to confront Ben.
251
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,799
All I require in a relationship
is a little honesty.
252
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,260
I mean, if I can't trust Ben
to keep his location
253
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,596
sharing on so that I can
track him like an animal,
254
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:20,597
what do we have?
255
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:23,474
[bluesy harmonica music]
256
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,769
[bluesy guitar music]
257
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,815
You know, you've been here
like ten nights in a row.
258
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,859
Don't you have anything else to do?
259
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,569
Yes, I do.
260
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,947
I just have to take
this call, and then I'll go.
261
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,407
Hello?
262
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,327
Mark Healy? Yes, he's right here.
263
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,747
It's for you.
It's someone named Se�or Weed.
264
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,166
He says breathe in and let the dork out.
265
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,793
Hello?
266
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,379
Oh, oh, lo siento, se�or.
267
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,548
Oh, I see.
268
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:57,884
You're looking for someone
who's pathetic and sad,
269
00:11:58,009 --> 00:11:59,844
because she doesn't have her own life?
270
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,679
Oh, do you want to take
this now or call him back
271
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,598
from literally anywhere else?
272
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,391
What's your problem?
273
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,060
I'm just having fun
hanging out with your friends
274
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,896
Derek and what's his face.
275
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:13,066
Hey, we have nicknames
for each other now.
276
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:16,319
I'm going to call you mine.
277
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,779
You do that and the police are going
278
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,948
to be calling you missing.
279
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,243
You really need to go.
280
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:25,745
I don't want to hurt your feelings,
281
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,163
but these are my friends.
282
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,957
And they respect me
too much to say that they
283
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,041
don't want you around.
284
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,251
Hey, Mark, sorry, buddy.
285
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:33,670
The toilet's clogged.
286
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,755
We need you to turn
into super janitor man.
287
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,883
Harris, you can play
for Mark until he gets back.
288
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,636
I don't think your
friends want me to leave.
289
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,012
It doesn't matter.
290
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,138
I do.
291
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,848
This is my dorm room.
292
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,642
You don't even go here.
293
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,185
You don't belong here.
294
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,423
Thanks for making me feel so welcome.
295
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,154
Great.
296
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,781
You made your sister leave.
297
00:13:01,921 --> 00:13:03,893
I was this close.
298
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:05,146
Oh, don't worry.
299
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,870
You're clearly on her radar,
what's his face.
300
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,459
[bluesy harmonica music]
301
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:18,172
? ?
302
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,884
Thanks so much for sharing
this place with us, man.
303
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:26,639
You know, once you get
used to the intense smell,
304
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,475
it is incredibly relaxing.
305
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,352
The power of animals.
306
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,814
That's why I "work late"
two nights a week.
307
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,399
How come you never told Jackie?
308
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,859
Because then she'd want to come,
309
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,819
and we'd be sitting here.
310
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,988
And it'd be quiet and relaxed.
311
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:45,199
And then she'd want
to know what I was thinking.
312
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,493
Oh, God.
313
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:48,745
Yeah.
314
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:52,665
She'd want to talk
about life and feelings,
315
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,501
and are my night terrors about her?
316
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:56,878
Hmm.
317
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,088
Hey, Dan, any more texts from Louise?
318
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,339
No.
319
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,341
That picture with all our
faces smashed together
320
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,093
did the trick.
321
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,846
Who was wearing the sandalwood?
322
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,181
That was kind of nice.
323
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,560
It was me.
324
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,978
You know, I was going to tell you guys
325
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,647
about what was bugging me
the first time we came here.
326
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,150
But these last two weeks
have been so great,
327
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,902
I haven't really felt the need to.
328
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,571
No one's been asking me, what's wrong?
329
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,365
What's bothering me?
330
00:14:26,498 --> 00:14:27,699
[sighs]
331
00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:31,913
But truth is, I have been
feeling a little anxious
332
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,749
about turning 50, right?
333
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,627
But Darlene just won't let it go.
334
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,170
Yeah, 50's a tough one.
335
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,880
- Right?
- Yeah.
336
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,965
But I wasn't ready to talk about it.
337
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,842
And you know who's just fine with that?
338
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:48,679
This young fella right here.
339
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:54,602
Can I tell Francis he's a good kitty?
340
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:59,232
Well, is Francis being a good kitty?
341
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,858
Yes.
342
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,862
Then yes, you can.
343
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,031
Good kitty.
344
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:10,159
[bluesy harmonica music]
345
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:14,330
[bluesy harmonica music]
346
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,375
We need to talk.
347
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,253
Oh, damn, it's only you.
348
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,255
From you, that's like a hug.
349
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:23,464
Look, I'm sorry.
350
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,757
I'm kind of wound up.
351
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,093
Becky and I are waiting
to ambush our men.
352
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,720
But actually,
I do need to talk to you also.
353
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,890
Why are you hanging
around Mark's dorm room?
354
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:36,227
Can't believe he tattled on me to Mommy.
355
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,937
I go because it's fun.
356
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,815
I like playing video games
and drinking beer.
357
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,025
And my friends are all
working and having babies.
358
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:45,111
And the only people you can find
359
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:48,865
to hang out with are a bunch
of ramen-eating virgins?
360
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,284
Mark's friends are in
the college party bubble.
361
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,911
And they won't be having
babies anytime soon,
362
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,913
unless they can build
a robot with a uterus
363
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:56,873
to have sex with them.
364
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,916
But I think the robot could do better.
365
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,588
Look, Harris, I know
you're better than this.
366
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,841
You could go to a bar and have
the exact same experience.
367
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,467
So why a college dorm?
368
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,098
I just want to see
what I missed out on, okay?
369
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,851
I'm about to jump into
the Lunch Box with both feet.
370
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,521
And once I do,
I'm locked into adult life.
371
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,440
I just want to make sure I'm not
372
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,942
making a commitment too early.
373
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,068
What do you think?
374
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,029
Do you think I'm making
the right choice?
375
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,656
Well, you've seen my life.
I have no idea.
376
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,867
It's not like I was 47 and suddenly
377
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,495
realized I was meant to scoop
slop to a bunch of Gen Zers.
378
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:40,082
Look, just steer clear of
your brother's dorm room, okay?
379
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,084
He's already embarrassed
that I'm a lunch lady
380
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,502
and he's a janitor.
381
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,546
He does not need his
older sister ripping bowls
382
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,173
and passing out in his room.
383
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,425
Well, I wouldn't feel too bad for him.
384
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:53,638
In his spare time, he's a
32-year-old Asian podiatrist.
385
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,390
The car just pulled up. They're here.
386
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,644
Do not peek out that window,
and don't you dare give
387
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:00,811
Tyler a hug when he comes in.
388
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,063
We need to break them.
389
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,444
Where the hell have you been?
390
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,487
The Lobo.
391
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,821
Of course you were.
392
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,240
Darlene had me thinking the worst.
393
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,241
No. Leave it.
394
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,701
Leave it.
395
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:17,703
Look, we're not upset that
you went to a strip club.
396
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,038
We're upset that you lied.
397
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,457
What? We didn't go to a strip club.
398
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:24,335
Look, we can't tell you,
but I promise you,
399
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,378
you wouldn't mind.
400
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,923
We're not talking to you.
401
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,716
It's okay, honey.
402
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:34,428
Tell us where the bad men took you.
403
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,514
Yeah, tell us, honey.
404
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,809
Oh, don't do it, man.
405
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:41,227
Hold on.
406
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:45,106
We were at Neville's clinic
hanging with the sick animals.
407
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,691
Really?
408
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,067
Yeah.
409
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,402
Well, there's something
about a strip club
410
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,071
that's less disturbing than that.
411
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,656
Look, it's Neville's secret.
412
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,616
Nights where he just sits quietly,
413
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,995
comforts the sick animals,
and just has time to think.
414
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,372
And it is really nice.
415
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,666
But you still lied.
416
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,167
Darlene's right.
417
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:08,087
And we're going to punish you
by taking a shower together.
418
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,761
You can't be mad.
419
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:16,887
I did what you asked.
420
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,015
I went and hung out with the guys.
421
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,891
No, that's not what I asked.
422
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:24,270
I asked you to open up
and share all of your fears
423
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,690
about turning 50
and processing those feelings
424
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,359
into a healthier and more accepting
425
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:31,902
outlook and attitude.
426
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,030
Yeah.
427
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,324
It doesn't work for me like that.
428
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:40,995
But all the quiet time with
the guys and a cute little goat
429
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,080
named Fernando really helped.
430
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,832
And look, you wanted me to
feel better, I feel better.
431
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,361
- Isn't that the point?
- No.
432
00:18:46,478 --> 00:18:49,211
You were supposed to feel better my way.
433
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,547
Hey, you grew up
in a big, boisterous family,
434
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,758
where everyone just spewed out what
435
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,302
they were feeling at each
other as they were feeling it.
436
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:58,637
Well, my mom always said,
if you hold it in,
437
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,056
you get kidney stones.
438
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:03,100
And my dad, well, he held it in,
and he got kidney stones.
439
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,062
So my reasoning is backed by science.
440
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,730
I can't do it that way.
441
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,398
My parents weren't available.
442
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,108
I spent most of my time up in my room
443
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,153
with my interior monologue
just trying to figure
444
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,946
things out in my own time.
445
00:19:17,017 --> 00:19:18,226
No, I get that.
446
00:19:18,338 --> 00:19:21,035
We were too poor for me to
have an interior monologue.
447
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,745
Becky and I had to share one.
448
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:28,250
Look, all I really care
about is that you're okay
449
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:32,171
and that turning 50 isn't going
to plunge you into some hole
450
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,382
that I can't pull you out of.
451
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,258
I'm good, okay?
452
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:38,177
I'm getting a handle on it.
453
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,346
I also kind of have
to get used to the idea
454
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:42,973
that my husband would
rather talk to some goat
455
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,225
than his own wife.
456
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,810
Well, I didn't talk.
457
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:46,852
I sang to it.
458
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,229
And it's not just any goat.
459
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,313
That's demeaning.
460
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,899
But you know what?
461
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,692
None of this would have ever happened
462
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,445
if you hadn't suggested
that I go and spend
463
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:57,655
some time with Tyler.
464
00:19:58,184 --> 00:20:00,658
- Well, I like where this is going.
- Mm.
465
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,201
Well, I hope you like
where it's been, because
466
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:03,619
I'm not going any further.
467
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:10,167
You know, it does sound
kind of peaceful and nice,
468
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,753
and I could use some time
to think about things.
469
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,797
Maybe we could all go together.
470
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,966
It really does bug you
when I've got my own thing,
471
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,384
doesn't it?
472
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:19,718
It really does.
473
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:23,347
[bluesy harmonica music]
474
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:28,060
[bluesy harmonica music]
475
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,896
Wow.
476
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:33,065
Are you sure we won't get
into trouble for this?
477
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,192
I got two glasses
of chardonnay into Neville.
478
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,486
He's out till tomorrow.
479
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:38,779
Okay.
480
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:43,909
So from what I got out of Ben,
here's how it works.
481
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,703
No one says anything.
482
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:47,788
We just sit here with the animals,
483
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:51,167
and we get clarity on things
that are bothering us.
484
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,977
There's Australian male strippers
485
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,646
at Chaps in Chaps tonight.
486
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,069
[child giggles]
487
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:23,669
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